


The Strange Occurrence in Soho

by Follow_the_clues



Series: Angel Wings [1]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Destroying the ineffable plan, F/M, Good Omens AU, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Multi, Nanny Anthema, Parent Aziraphale (Good Omens), Parent Crowley (Good Omens), Protective Crowley (Good Omens), crowley is an idiot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:35:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29116101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Follow_the_clues/pseuds/Follow_the_clues
Summary: ((This is also posted on my Wattpad under the username -ineffable-angel-))What exactly happens when hell's plan doesn't go well?Crowley showed up at Azirapahle's bookshop with two golden haired baby boys...One is the The Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Prince of this World and Lord of DarknessThe other is simply a baby boy.Crowley did not know the difference....So, let's just say that Armageddon is about to get a bit more personal.
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Angel Wings [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136303
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

Crowley knocked on the bookshop’s door, holding the basket and bundle. He tapped his foot, waiting for the door to open.  
He knocked again,  
“Aziraphale! Angel! Open the door!”  
The door opened and the blonde-haired man rubbed his eyes, “Crowley?”  
“Yes, May I come in?”  
The angel nodded and the demon handed the angel the bundle,  
“Here, hold this while I get the other one out.”  
The angel felt the bundle squirm and moved the little red blanket so he could see the inside of it…  
“Crowley! This is a baby!”  
The demon gave the angel a glare, “Really Angel?! I had no idea?” He took the second child out of the blanket and Aziraphale’s eyes widened,  
“What in the name of the almighty?!”  
“Don’t panic Angel!”  
“THERE ARE TWO CHILDREN! Crowley! Did you steal them?! What scheme is he—“  
“Quit yelling Angel!” The demon huffed, “Aziraphale! One of these two is the antichrist! And the other is a perfectly normal baby boy!”  
“HOW DOES THAT MAKE THIS ANY BETTER?!”  
The baby boy in the angel’s arm began to cry, loudly. He looked down at the baby and rocked him,  
“Oh… poor baby…” the angel said in a calming, soft voice, “I’m sorry… I must’ve startled you…”  
“See, just a baby…” the demon sighed, “hell wanted me to deliver him... and then I ended up mixing up the babies… so I grabbed them both.”  
Aziraphale sighed,  
“Alright, what do you need me to do?”  
“Help me.”  
“What?”  
“Help me raise them, Azi, I can’t do this alone.”  
The angel looked into the yellow eyes of the demon and sighed,  
“Alright… I’ll help you.”  
The demon looked around at the room,   
“We need cribs… and somewhere to put them.”  
“I have an extra room upstairs, we can make one into a nursery for them.”  
“And names.”  
“I say I name the red blanket and you name the one from the basket.”  
“Deal.” Crowley said, looking down at the baby in his arms, “Warlock. Warlock…. uhhh…”  
“Fell.” Aziraphale said, “Warlock Fell, and Adam Fell. Seeing as they’ll live in my home with you and the people here know me as Azira Fell.”  
“Adam?”  
“Well, yes. A nice biblical name.”  
Crowley smiled slightly, “I guess that means my name is Anthony J Crowley-Fell.”  
“Don’t push your luck serpent.”  
“Alright Angel…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As it turns out, a certain angel and demon don’t know much about raising children

Aziraphale stood in their makeshift nursery, watching the two baby boys sleep.  
“I’m buying carpet today, and paint…. and a better pair of cribs... and two car seats. And baby carriers, and clothes.”  
The angel chuckled and turned to the demon,  
“I’ll come with you, we can take Adam and Warlock too.”  
The demon smiled, “Alright, but we don’t have car seats…”

The demon drove the Bentley slower than usual as the angel held both children in his arms. Crowley snuck a look at the angel and immediately saw the look of worry one his face.  
“It will be alright Angel.”  
Aziraphale looked over at him, “Crowley, we don’t know the first thing about raising human children.”  
“I have money… you have money… we’ll hire a nanny…”  
Aziraphale looked at him and then back down at the babies in his arms,   
“Well… I suppose they’re nothing wrong with that.”  
“Good.”  
Crowely put the car in park and took Warlock into his arms. They had miracled clothes for the two boys, of course since the angel and demon knew very little about human rituals…  
The “twin” boys looked as if they were born in two very different time periods. Adam looked like he belonged in the 1880’s, while Warlock looked like he belonged in the 1980’s….

Nonetheless, the two were contently asleep in their fathers’ arms. Completely oblivious of how this had come to pass..,

Heaven, unlike hell, did not trust the reality of this “ineffable plan.” Specifically the Violet-eyed archangel by the name of Gabriel…  
Gabriel hated plenty of things, Earth, the virgin mother Mary, Peter, John the son of Zebedee, James the son of Zebedee, but most of all the principality of Earth….  
In his mind, the rather fat form of the angel was unappealing to a being of heaven and most of all, his relationship with the demon Crawley.  
He had noticed a strange energy surge the day before…  
So, he had to investigate.

“I’ll take Warlock upstairs, but since Adam’s awake, I’ll leave him with you.”  
Aziraphale nodded,  
“Okay, just promise to limit your cussing as you assemble the furniture.”  
“Fuck off Angel.”  
“Crowley!”  
The demon flicked his tongue,  
“Like they actually understand us!”  
The demon then walked up the stairs with the baby and boxes as Aziraphale sat down on the couch with Adam. He actually had started to enjoy this thought of raising the two children…

“Well… well… well…” the cold voice said, as the purple eyes glared at the angel with the child in his arms, “what spawn of hell have you helped create principality?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain Archangel shows up

“What spawn of hell have you helped create principality?”  
Aziraphale held Adam close to his chest and stood up,  
“Gabriel…”  
“Answer the question.”  
“He… he’s just a child Gabriel!”  
Gabriel growled,  
“This place smells of the sulfur of Hell! Answer my question!”  
“He’s just a child!”  
“He is the antichrist! He is the spawn of the darkest pit of Hell! He must be destroyed!”  
Aziraphale protectively held the baby closer,  
“Gabriel…”  
“I sense you’ve grown attached to this thing. Just give it over principality!”  
“No!” Aziraphale’s wings puffed out and wrapped around him and Adam, “You won’t hurt him!”  
“Move.” Gabriel said, grabbing ahold of the angel’s wings and yanking them out of place. The angel cringed but stared into Gabriel’s eyes,  
“Please…”  
Gabriel pulled the child from Aziraphale’s arm, making the baby antichrist cry loudly in shock.  
“If you have any sense, principality, you will shut up and let me handle this thing.”  
Aziraphale reached out for his son in an attempt to calm the crying baby and Gabriel threw him back.  
“Gabriel! Please!”  
The baby’s shrill cries echoed through the room before Aziraphale summoned the courage to pull Adam into his arms and cry out in fear,  
“Crowley! Help me! Please!  
Gabriel laughed,  
“Calling for your demon isn’t going to work!”  
Crowley came leaping down the stairs and onto the archangel,  
“Gabriel!” He hissed.  
Adam was still crying in Aziraphale’s arms as the angel noticed the burns on the baby’s arms...  
Gabriel glared as the demon dug his nails onto his face,  
“Get off of me!”  
“I will burn your very essence if you don’t leave here immediately.”  
“You really care for that thi—“  
“Adam is my son! I will destroy all of heaven if you ever come back!!!”  
The archangel ran out and Crowley turned to Aziraphale, who was desperately trying to quiet Adam….  
“He… he hurt him…”  
“Angel…”  
“He hurt our son.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley can be soft... sometimes

Aziraphale hadn’t left his room for three days. Crowley had found himself unable to quiet the two babies, who were crying loudly for their other father. Adam’s arms were still scarred from the burns, despite his best efforts to miracle them away.  
Crowley opened up the bedroom door,  
“Angel… the babies won’t let me sleep… please, just talk to me.”  
When there was no response, Crowely sat next to the angel’s bed,  
“Come on… Just talk to me Aziraphale.”  
“I failed….”  
“Angel…”  
“I failed… I couldn’t… I couldn’t protect him….”  
Crowley stared at him in silence…  
The angel’s shimmering tears had stained the pillow and more were still dripping down his pale cheeks. The demon wiped his cheeks before softly kissing his forehead,  
“I’ll leave you be for a few moments, I am coming back with cocoa and the babies.”  
The angel whimpered softly before Crowley left the room. The angel was alone for a few minutes before the demon came in with the two babies and the angel’s white mug. He set the mug down on the side table and sat down next to the angel, “Come on… just pick up your head. Adam and Warlock miss you.”  
Aziraphale’s head lifted slightly when he heard Adam’s soft coo as Crowley laid the baby next to him.   
“See, he needs you.”  
Aziraphale touched the cheek of the baby, who let out a happy squeak when he felt the angel’s touch.  
Aziraphale sat up and picked up Adam in his arms,  
“I’m sorry baby… I failed you….”  
“No you didn’t Angel….”  
Aziraphale held the baby in his lap as Crowely cuddled next to him with Warlock and handed him the mug,   
“We’re all gonna get through this, alright?”  
“Right…”

Hell was a little more pleased that heaven. When Beelzebub learned what Crowely had done, ze could not stop laughing. In fact, Beelzebub made fun of the whole situation,  
“Now thizzzz I have to zzzee for myzzelf!” ze said excitedly, “Idiotzzz! I’ll be back! I have to zzzee thizzz zzcrew-up for myzzzelf!”

Beelzebub, prince of hell, lord of the flies…  
Also, ze has been known to throw demons in tubs of holy water if they do not respect hir pronouns. Anyways… Beelzebub was the one demon you did not want to cross. hir was the direct adversary of the archangel Gabriel and honestly, ze hated him. The demon hated earth a little bit less that the archangel Gabriel…  
But this?  
The idea that the antichrist would be raised by an Angel and demon and have a human sibling.  
Beelzebub f*cking loved it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub is a demon who feeds off the chaos

Aziraphale was trying to quiet Warlock as Crowley attempted to quiet Adam. The two had switched babies after their failed attempts to stop their crying. It was now hour two of the twins’ tantrums and both the angel and demon were growing tired. The door of the shop opened and Crowley’s heart skipping several beats when he saw the prince of hell step through the door…  
Ze immediately covered hir ears,  
“What the ineffable f*ck izzz that zzzound?!”  
“Crying children!” Crowley hissed, “they haven’t stopped crying for almost two hours!”  
“Hand them over idiotzzz!”   
Aziraphale nervously held Warlock close and the demon still had hir arm towards him,   
“I’m not going to hurt them Azzziraphale.” Beelzebub said, “Hell dozzzent hurt children.”  
Crowley and Aziraphale cautiously handed the babies to Beelzebub, who rocked the twins in hir arms,   
“Little hell raizzzerzzz, do heaven and hell a favor and quit crying, torture thezzze idiotzzz tommorow.”   
The two babies quieted down and quickly fell asleep in the prince of hell’s arms.  
“What in the name of the almighty?” Aziraphale said with slightly wide eyes.  
“I actually came to talk to you two f*ckerzzzz. Thizzz little thing you got here, it will f*ck everything up even more and I am here for it!”  
Crowley and Aziraphale looked at eachother as Beelzebub sat on the couch with the twins still in hir arms,  
“Lizzzten, hell izzznt too mad. And I can tell that thezzz two will be quite the advezzarys of heaven.”  
“Or hell.” The angel said quickly.  
“Oh ezzzzpecially hell! There will be zzzzo much chaozzz!”  
“So you’re not going to try and murder them?”  
“Why would I do that?”  
“Well…” Crowley said, putting his hand on the back of his neck, “Last week, Gabriel showed up and tried to kill Adam…”  
“Bazztard.” The prince of hell said, looking at Adam’s burns before snapping, miracling them away, “Gabriel izzz a b*tch.”  
Aziraphale stood up,   
“Well… I guess I’d be rude if I didn’t offer your wine or… whatever demons drink.”  
Beelzebub chuckled,  
“Yeah, zzzure. I’ll take zzzome wine.”

By the time Beelzebub stood up to leave, Aziraphale had fallen asleep on the couch. Ze handed the twins to Crowley and smiled,  
“Zzzo, the two of you should look into a nanny.”  
“Will do…”

Anathema Device, witch. A young American who had recently moved to Lower Tadfield into a small cottage. She looked at the map where she had been monitoring the flow of energy….  
Soho.


End file.
